Over the course of 14 years, I created a strong internal bond with my two dogs, Ms Moose and Max. I loved a girl once and she left me because she said I spent too much time with my dogs. She didn’t understand it was a different kind of love, most people don’t.
I would talk to Max and Moose often, communicating without words. And when times were tough and when I thought all hope was gone, we communicated through our eyes, sometimes even telepathically and sometimes through our touch. They always seemed to have the answers saying. “Don’t worry there is a God and everything will be OK”.
They are both gone now but I still try communicating. A good friend of mine lost his dog, Annie, and emailed, saying he thought at first it was just an emotional attachment but it must be something more. I wrote him back saying:
As far as the emotional attachment with Annie, you can bet you will always have one. I was close to Max and Moose with them every day for 14 years and a day doesn’t go by that they don’t return to me in some way. I still can’t talk about it without tears. We all have our own way of grieving. I lost both of them in the last six months and Max just three weeks ago. When I return home, I am lost and don’t want to be there. Sometimes I cry out in anger at God, sometimes I fall into the chair feeling helpless. I still talk to them, pretending they are in the car and, in fact, now I bring them into the grocery store since they were always too big to go in.
Now no one sees them but me. As I got closer to them over the years, I found they learned to communicate with me before I did with them. Once I learned, words were not needed. The bond was tight. I believe all animals want to communicate with us but modern man has really turned the animal world into play things, objects or even enemies. You know better than me the Native American bond with animals. So, this loss you feel is partly the loss of an ancient bond you had with Annie, an ancient cry to be one with nature and animals lost in modern society. I try to keep my mind busy and one reason I took this job away from home as I could not have imagined working from home now as even now I see them sitting next to me while I am typing.
One of my listeners sent this you tube and thought you might enjoy it. After the intro it gets good at the 8 minute mark.. It’s called The Man Who Swims With Crocodiles: